Nigel isn't bright. But he's happy enough. At work there's the photocopying, and Cheryl and Karen. And he likes living in the pub his Mum and Dad used to run. Even though it isn't a proper pub anymore, not with beer and stuff. But then Nigel doesn't like to drink anyway. He's got better things to do. Like television and his comics.
And the cellar.
Not that there's anything wrong with Nigel. Nigel wouldn't hurt anybody, not really. Not like some people he could mention. Some people don't care what they do, or who they hurt.
Some people are animals.