Unlike my first book, The Free Musics , this book is not easily categorized. My original intent was to publish a revised version of a personal journal I wrote in the early 90s. I began that project in early 2020; then, besides covid, the political world exploded. Since I was an activist in the 60s and still “somewhere on the left,” I was taken aback and had to rethink my political allegiance. As a musician, touring and performing, I was unaware that “the left” had been gaining power and now was on the same side as all the major institutions it had been fighting—how could that be?

The result is a mix of the personal and a critique--my own shaky ground and that of the contemporary world. Besides occasional references to my past and to free playing, I attempt to understand, with empathy and objectivity, where this left has come from historically and socially from the postwar period until today. This is the dateline of my own conscious life, and so the analysis is informed by my experience of the transformation of America. It coincides with my own change, from having a promising academic career to being a musician of strange sounds with no career interest. The critique is not a thorough history, nor a polemic, but an opportunity for stepping back from the present situation and getting my bearings on politics, my class of origin, and my inner dilemmas. It is written out of a need to think things through--open the book at random for a taste of it.