~Diary of the Spawn Mother~


Entry #23

Went to the store because I ran out of diapers… Me. I ran out of diapers. Not my children. ME.

Entry #38

This morning I bit Aidan’s hand like a rabid dog. Father of my children or not, he went for my last piece of dark chocolate, which is my only vice now that I have young who suckle from my teats.

Entry #47

I’m determined to fit back into my skinny jeans. Option 1: Cut off one of my legs. Option 2: Go to the gym.

This is gonna hurt…