You can only lose your virginity once, right? Not if you’re Amy—a trans woman caught in loops of dissociation—so that she has sex for the first time multiple times, in multiple ways, through multiple levels of presence, in a search to own and redeem the self-inflicted pain of her past.

From Torrey Peters, author of The Masker and Infect Your Friends and Loved Ones, comes a novella that dives into the labor of naming your pain when there’s no easily identifiable source of trauma.